


Grimm and Bare It

by MrsMoosie



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Demons Are Assholes, Dirty Talk, Discorporation (Good Omens), Fairy Tale Retellings, Implied/Referenced Sex, Light BDSM, M/M, Miracles, No Plot/Plotless, No Sex, Roleplay, Sex Toys, Stalking, Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), Top Crowley (Good Omens), switches bitches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23940388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsMoosie/pseuds/MrsMoosie
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley role playing through some rather fractured fairy tales. Very fractured. This will be 3 short chapters of role playing and some complete nonsense. Tags will be updated as I post.No Beta. I shall swagger vaguely downward.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	1. Three Little Demons

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my wandering mind! :)
> 
> Here be the Three Little Pigs. But it's not. At all. 
> 
> Warnings for language, talk of gambling and drug addiction, in very minor characters... No main characters are actually harmed in the making of this fic... And I never intend to insult or hurt anyone's feelings. <3

We all know the story of the Three Little Pigs. 

This is the story of the Three Demons. 

Three demons left Hell one gloomy day, intent on going to Earth and spreading as much discord within Humanity as possible. They were tasked with obtaining souls for Hell, as all demons are. They arrived in London, ready to cause complete well… Hell on Earth. Each went their separate ways, seeking to ruin people’s lives.

*

Hastur, the first demon, traveled along and came across a cafe. The owner was in the middle of a health inspection. He had been struggling with a gambling addiction, was incredibly in debt because of it, and was on his last leg. Hastur rubbed his hands together and grinned an evil grin.

“Perfect. I will make sure he fails, he will lose his job, his house, and turn further to darkness. Within a year, we will have him.”

As he walked into the shop, several rats and roaches came running in behind him and he laughed a disgusting laugh. 

*

Ligur was the second demon. He traveled a different way and found himself in a park. There was a man on a bench feeding the ducks, talking to himself. He was scruffy, holes in his shoes and clothing, and smelled even worse. Ligur didn’t bother him, but instead noticed a rather well off business man walking by at the same moment. The business man paused and noticed the homeless man, causing Ligur to growl low in his throat at the opportunity.

The business man leaned into the poor man and started to yell at him. “Why don’t you get a job? You’re disgusting, go crawl into a dumpster and die already! I should beat the shit out of you, teach you to waste your money on drugs!”

The homeless man shriveled up into a ball and whimpered, hiding from the threats. Ligur chuckled and stayed hidden. Not one person intervened.

*

The last demon was Crowley. He was not so interested in securing souls. He was more interested in causing general mayhem and mischief. His tongue stuck out between his lips and he squinted slightly, carefully gluing several coins to the sidewalk before running around the corner. He laughed and held his side as a human tried very hard to pick it up. He continued on his way and came across a book shop, smirking. Every book rearranged into the wrong spots? Perfect.

He tried to open the door and grumbled when he found it locked. 

“Stupid… books… Oi! Your hours don’t make any sense!” He yelled at the door.

“We’re closed!” A voice yelled from the other side. Crowley blinked and shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets and moving to hide around the corner. Guy couldn’t stay inside all day… Right? 

*

Aziraphale, our big well,  _ good _ wolf in this tale, finally left his bookshop not too long after the incredibly rude yelling at his door. He turned to lock up, not noticing the tiny black snake slithering into the shop past his feet. He was an Angel of Heaven. Being such, he had bestowed many miracles on many of his favorite people and places that he enjoyed to visit almost daily.

He made his way to his favorite cafe and frowned, seeing the owner in hysterics, holding a paper and crying toward a suited man. He walked in.

“Excuse me, what is going on here?” He asked politely.

“Oh! Oh Aziraphale thank god! This- there were  _ cockroaches  _ and  _ rats _ and they failed me, I have to close shop!” The owner fretted, “I was doing so good with… and now… I’ve never had pests!”

Aziraphale caught a scent in the air of something evil and frowned, looking through the shop and noticing a single patron. Black, evil eyes, and that evil stench. Aziraphale smiled at the two gentlemen and gave a small wave. 

“Fear not, you will not fail and you will succeed in all your endeavors. Your addictions will subside, and you will pass.” He said softly, looking to the inspector, “It’s not your fault, dear boy. Let this man pass and come back another day.”

Aziraphale allowed the two men to leave his side, confused but accepting the positive outcome. He frowned and turned to the patron.

“Demon of Hell, leave this place.”

“Not without a soul for my master.” Hastur growled.

“Then you leave me no choice… I will smite you down where you stand.” He snapped his fingers, and the demon was showered in Holy light, discorporating him on the spot. Aziraphale nodded, satisfied. He bid a good day to the shop owner, who was busy doing whatever it was cafe shop owners did after failing, then passing inspection, and Aziraphale left.

*

Aziraphale went to the park and noticed a homeless man being berated. He was curled into a ball on a bench, crying. A very well off business man hollered at him, nearly ready to kill the poor man. Aziraphale immediately intervened. He went to the business man and touched his shoulder, emitting a sense of calm and grace throughout his soul.

“Please be kind to his man. He has lost both his family and home in the past year and has no means There are no illegal substances within him, just very bad luck. Perhaps you could share your wealth with him, help him to get onto his feet instead of shunning him? Such an act would surely be both charitable, and honorable.” 

Aziraphale smiled softly and looked to the poor man on the bench, bending forward and taking his hand. “You poor, kind soul. May good fortune be with you always, and find solace in Her light.” He closed his eyes and stood, releasing the poor man’s hands. Suddenly, he smelled it again. A demon.

The homeless man touched Aziraphale’s arm, thanking him. The business man held out his hand in a gesture to come with him. He offered him food, clothing and a roof over his head. It was a chance for him to have something in life, to make his lost family proud.

Aziraphale frowned and walked toward a tree. He saw Ligur and growled.

“Demon of Hell, leave this place.”

“Not without a soul for my master.” Ligur snapped.

“Then you leave me no choice… I will smite you down where you stand.” He snapped his fingers, and the demon was showered in Holy light, discorporating him on the spot. Aziraphale felt something wrong. Two demons in one day? He froze and swallowed hard. His shop…

*

Aziraphale hurried back to his bookshop and slammed open the door. Crowley looked over, holding a book in each hand.

“Demon! Put my books down!”

“Oh no, you caught me. What in Hell should I do? Please don’t smite me…” Crowley said, uncaring. Aziraphale felt his teeth grind together. The other two demons were ruining human lives. These books were  _ his _ . This was  _ personal _ .

“Demon of Hell. Leave this place.” Aziraphale felt a fire growing in his chest, growling. He snapped his fingers, locking the door behind him. He took several steps forward, reaching up and undoing his bow tie. Crowley carelessly threw the books over his shoulders, chin raising defiantly. 

“Make me.” Crowley smirked. Aziraphale undid the top two buttons of his shirt to show off some skin. His coat was taken off and with a swish of a hand, gently hung on his coat rack in the back room. Aziraphale stood before him and began to unbutton his sleeves, rolling them up. Crowley swallowed, nervous.

“Do you really think I can’t?” Aziraphale raised an eyebrow challenging. Sleeves were rolled up, shirt collar undone, waistcoat on… his forearms were exposed and so damn strong…

“I’d like to see you try...” Crowley found his resolve crumbling. It’s not that he was bad at his job, he just wasn’t as well…  _ bad _ like the other two. Aziraphale hummed in thought.

“I don’t think I’ll smite you like I did your compatriots. I’ll give you a different punishment, little Demon.” Aziraphale stalked forward intently, causing Crowley to take several steps back.

“What- what are you doing, Principality?” Crowley backed into a bookshelf and whimpered.

Aziraphale smirked, slamming his hands on either side of the demon’s head.

*

Hours later, Crowley was panting, spread out on Aziraphale’s king sized bed. Aziraphale made sure he was thoroughly punished. He’d been plugged, spanked, sucked and fucked ruthlessly into the mattress. Aziraphale lay next to him, fingers tracing patterns over his chest.

“So…” Aziraphale started, “I suppose you won this round, Demon. I couldn’t get you to leave.”

“I suppose… I should start listening in on more demonic plans to secure souls then… if this is what my reward is… You get some smiting and I get- well smited… smote? Whatever, you get to fuck me senseless and I love every minute of it, Angel.” Crowley sighed and put a hand behind his head, the other cast over his stomach.

Aziraphale chuckled and kissed his neck softly, “I suppose you should, my wiley serpent.”


	2. Through the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Demon Riding Hood ventures to his ‘friends’ house, but is met with an obstacle along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy GO30!! Chapter 1 got a little burried in the celebration, which c’mon did you see that video? I’m still ugly crying. Aziraphale needs to read a Cosmo or... Seventeen Magazine or something... How to take a hint. 😉💝
> 
> Moving along, we have hints of BDSM, stalking, and con-non-con, if such a thing is a... thing. 
> 
> No beta... I am a lone wolf. 😣

Crowley was  _ not _ skipping. He  _ was  _ walking with a bounce to his step however, through the streets of London very late at night. He had a basket, if you could call it that, in one arm and the other was free, swinging with his swagger. One could almost say he was humming happily. He turned toward St. James Park and stopped at the entrance. Looking through it. He was on his way to visit a dear friend and was not to stop. For any reason. He took not even three steps into the park when he was stopped.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” A soft voice rang out. Crowley froze and clutched his not-basket closer to his chest, letting a grumble leave his chest. He continued to walk like he heard nothing. It was very late and he ought to be getting to his friend.

“Don’t ignore me, Demon. Where are you going?”

“To see a friend… So fuck off, creep.”

“Oh dear, not very nice are we?” The voice said. Crowley stopped dead in his tracks as a figure appeared before him. Covered by a dark cloak of sorts, hood shielding his face mysteriously.

“Go away, creep.” Crowley snapped again. The figure took its hood back and stood proudly. It was Aziraphale, but… it wasn’t.

In lieu of his normal light browns and blues, he was now in a pinstriped black suit and waistcoat. He donned a grey shirt, the only other color was blue under his suit’s collar. His black and white wing tipped shoes shone in the moonlight.

“Mm… and what have we here?”

“Seriously…” Crowley rolled his eyes, admitting to himself how charming this “stranger” was, and how difficult it was to not eye fuck him.

“You look absolutely… delectable. Anyone out here could just eat you up little Demon. Why don’t you let me help you?”

“Because I can protect myself. I’m a  _ demon _ .”

“But someone could just-“ Aziraphale licked his lips and stalked his prey, walking around him and trying not to touch, “Snatch you right up.”

“Then I’ll send them straight to hell. So… bye.” Crowley sighed and started to walk again through the park. 

“Mind if I ask  _ where  _ you are off to at such a late hour?”

“Yes, I do, creep.”

“Possibly… a friend? It’s nearly midnight. What kind of  _ friend  _ is this? Maybe one with  _ benefits _ ?” Crowley stopped and blushed softly, looking back at the dark figure, who in turn smirked. Aziraphale stepped closer.

“It's just a friend and… he’s been sick. I’m bringing him some movies and soup…” Crowley said quietly. He looked down at the- well, it’s a bag not a basket he supposed- in his arms and smiled lovingly.

“Doesn’t look like he’s  _ just a friend. _ ” Aziraphale, suddenly standing behind him, purred into his ear. “Sure it’s just soup and a movie in there? My imagination is running  _ wild _ …” Crowley jumped and tore away, cheeks burning red.

“I- no! Go away!” Crowley continued to walk briskly, deeper into the park, trying to avoid Mr. Hungry-Eyes. He walked for a few minutes before he stopped and looked around. It was pitch black, he realized this was a nearly uncharted section of the park. This was not helping him feel comfortable knowing he was being stalked by Mr. Hungry-Eyes.

He gripped his bag tighter and let a small whimper out, walking in some direction he couldn’t tell. He couldn’t hear anything- no cars, no soft chatter of anyone walking this late at night. There was no smell of popcorn being sold or lights to be seen through the trees. He was walking, in the dark, with no path or sense of direction. 

He was  _ lost _ . 

Mr. Hungry-Eyes, which Crowley decided he had the song stuck in his head now, and would most likely have to watch Dirty Dancing later, would unfortunately be a sight for sore eyes.

So Crowley walked, humming “Hungry Eyes” through the trees, through the park and finally made his way out of the ‘forest’ to a sidewalk. He sighed in relief and continued on his path, straight to his friend’s home, above an old book shop.

He approached and stepped into the shop as his friend had told him to do, shutting and locking the door quietly behind him. He clutched his bag and took a deep breath in, sighing in relief that he’d made it unscathed. Crowley made it through the shop and up the stairs to the second floor, through a maze of bookshelves to a door with a sign, reading ‘Private Property’. He smiled softly and knocked three times. He waited for an answer, eyes closing and imagining his friend on the other side of the door, waiting patiently for him. 

He was d _ efinitely _ not sick, and his bag had  _ no _ soup in it. This was certainly a friend with many benefits. At least a few ‘benefits’ he bought from the sex shop.

“Come in…” A voice called. Crowley frowned and touched the door handle, giving it a twist and pushing it open. The flat was dark as Crowley entered, eyes trying to adjust as he had tried to in the park. He shut the door behind him and leaned against the door.

“Are… Why is it so dark?”

“Come in, Crowley…” The voice said. It  _ sounded _ like his friend… But it was a bit off somehow.

“Where are you?” Crowley frowned, squinting. He held a hand out to try and see in the dark, bumping into a table, then a wall. He kept walking down a hall until he saw a very faint light. A small, single candle was lit. In the doorway of the bedroom.

“I’m here… Come in.” The voice beaconed. Crowley felt his cheeks pink slightly and he stepped inside, “Close the door.” The voice added. Crowley nodded and swallowed, shutting the door behind him.

“Why… Why are you in here?” Crowley asked.

“Come closer, dear…” The voice asked. Crowley was drawn to it. Was it him? It sounded… It could really be… He needed to see him though. He wasn’t sure if he was getting aroused from how strange this was, or scared, but he felt his body tingle in ways it usually didn’t. Especially…

“Why is it so dark?”

“Give me your hand.” He asked. Crowley stopped moving and felt his face turning bright red, biting his lip. A whimper left his throat, a tremble ran through his body. It was definitely arousal. He held his hand out, the other still gripping his bag. His breath picked up slightly in pace and his friend noticed.

“I’m not going to hurt you…” The voice said. Crowley nodded and felt a small tug, bringing his hand closer to the mystery body. It was so sensual… Whatever this was...

First, he felt a touch of lips on his palm.

“Oh… What soft lips you have…” Crowley whispered. 

“For you to kiss, my dear…”

Then, his hand moved to his hair. Crowley ran his fingers through and smiled.

“What soft hair you have…” 

“For you to run your hands through, my dear…”

He felt a tug and his hand was moving again, lower… To his chest.

“How fast your heart is beating…” 

“Always, when you are near, my dear…”

Crowley felt his hand tugged down further and his cheeks caught fire. He dropped the bag to the bed. A hum left the other man’s throat.

“Oh… You’re so hard… already…” Crowley stuttered out, hand trembling nervously. He heard a snap and a lamp came on in the room and Crowley let out a gasp, jumping back.

“The better to- Crowley honestly, this is ridiculous.” Aziraphale sighed, moving the bag, “Can we just move on?”

Crowley sighed, “C’mon Angel we were almost there! You can’t just cock out! I do your thing with the books.”

“I can and I will. It was fine and then… You want me to say  _ that _ ? Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm are rolling in their graves.” Aziraphael grumbled, grabbing Crowley’s hand and pulling him back. Crowley gave an ‘Oof!’ and landed on top of Aziraphale, smiling and kissing him softly.

“You make a very convincing wolf… And you look  _ very _ sexy in black.” Crowley nuzzled his cheek, kisses moving to his neck. Aziraphale blushed softly and stroked his hands down the other’s back.

“I’m sorry I ruined your fun. It just seems crude… ‘The better to fuck you with’-” Aziraphale flushed harder and shook his head, “We can continue if you like though.”

“Oh yes, Mr. Wolf… I fully expect you to devour me. I have a whole bag of tricks for you to use on me if you like.” Crowley growled.

“I knew your bag had more than soup in it…” Aziraphale smirked and flipped them over, pinning Crowley down onto the bed, “I’d like to be a friend if it comes with those kinds of benefits, little demon. Let’s see what you’ve brought, shall we?”

Aziraphale continued to grab Crowley’s wrists and pin them over his head in one hand. He sat on his waist to hold him down. Crowley struggled slightly against him and whimpered.

“Let me go before I send you to hell, creep!”

“Mm… What have we here?” Aziraphale purred, “My, my, you are a bit of a kinky fellow aren’t you? So glad I stalked you over here, pretty little thing.” He leaned into Crowley and nipped his ear.

“F- Followed…?”

“Mm, good boy… You’re catching on.” Aziraphale licked his ear, causing Crowley to shudder at the touch and praise, “You naughty little demon. Angels need to make sure when we’re finding demons we protect who they are after. The man that owned this store is safe and secure elsewhere while we… are going to have a very naughty evening it seems.”

“Angel…” Crowley whispered, “Shit.” His head fell back and arms struggled against the hold on them. 

“Well don’t stalk people on the World Wide Web, little demon, and we won’t-”

Crowley snorted and bucked up into a hearty laugh, tears coming down his face.

“Wha- World… World Wide Web, Angel? Seriously?”

“What!? That’s what it is, isn’t it? The ‘www’ part?” He pouted and sat back on his heels, dropping Crowley’s wrists, “I thought I was doing just fine, thank you.”

“You were… You were, Angel shit… It hasn’t been the ‘World Wide Web’ since the 90’s? Maybe  _ never _ ? But please… let’s continue.” He wiped a tear from his eye, letting out one last chuckle before his wrists were violently slammed next to his head. A fire burned in Aziraphale’s eyes.

“Think that was funny, little demon? Mocking me when I have you here pinned down at my will and able to smite you when I please?” Aziraphale gripped hard- not hard enough to injure but enough to get control of the situation.

“A- Angel…” Crowley whimpered.

“Here is what I am going to do to you, for insulting me. I am going to use each and every one of the items you brought in that bag on you at the same time. You will tell me you like it, and I am not going to let you finish until I say do. If you finish before me, you are going to  _ wish  _ I had struck you down, little demon. Your punishment will be severe. Am I clear?”

Crowley stared at Aziraphale and swallowed, silent, subordinate, painfully aroused.

“Am I clear, Demon?” Aziraphale asked. A hand left Crowley’s wrists to tilt his chin up, forcing him to look into his eyes.

“Ah- Yes, Angel, crystal clear…” Crowley stared at him, swallowing hard, Adam’s Apple bobbing. Aziraphale dropped his chin and sat back on his heels, grabbing the bag. He flipped it and dropped the contents out onto Crowley’s chest, smirking.

“My, my… You are in trouble, little demon.” Aziraphale cooed. Crowley squeezed his legs together and whimpered. He knew what was in that bag. He knew what he was up against.

*

Crowley obeyed his orders and allowed his Angel to finish before he did. It was a struggle, it was down to the wire, but it worked. Some demonic interventions may have helped him, and a ‘Yellow’ color code once or twice… He was up against some heavy artillery all at once though. A anal plug, cock ring, nipple clamps, riding crop, not to mention the dildo that wound up down his throat when he didn’t have Aziraphale’s cock down it. 

Early in the morning when they finished, he lay panting on top of Aziraphale, arms limp noodles that wouldn’t lift even if he willed them to. Aziraphale smiled smugly and stroked down his spine, short nails digging in slightly and scratching the skin.

“Alright, love?” He whispered. Crowley nodded, breath finally evening out.

“You… are the sexiest baddest wolf.” He got out before sighing. His mouth was too dry, body too worn. He was exhausted and letting it take over.

“Mm, thank you. I like to think of myself as a fair wolf though, making sure my-” Aziraphale paused and looked down, an eyebrow raising. Crowley had dozed off slightly, and the sound of his heavy breathing gave him away.

Aziraphale smiled lovingly and kissed the top of his head. He gave a small wave of his hand to clean them up, and then a snap to cover them with blankets.

“Rest up… I’m sure you have plenty more fiendish ideas in that head of yours I can enjoy later.” He chuckled, tucking in for the night.


	3. Mad Hat You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of punny titles and so here we are at the end of my wild imagination. Bigger and better things are in the works though! 😘

Crowley found himself sitting in a tree. He was in a very sharp black suit, a grey vest and a purple tie. A black fedora with a checkered purple band sat on his head covering his shoulder length hair, tied back from his face. He was dressed the part, best he could without wearing a cat costume. Out of the question. He crossed his arms and grumbled. He was in the middle of a forest, miles upon miles away from any sort of human village or civilization, and there was no cell phone reception. He was there for Aziraphale, of course. But it was awful. Awful, until it wasn’t...

Aziraphale came strolling through the path in the woods, hands held prim in front of him. He was fidgeting with his waistcoat, of course. He looked very worried, and he looked very lost.

“Oh dear…” Aziraphale muttered to himself, “This does not look like anything I’ve ever seen before- I suppose I’ve gotten myself quite lost…”

“You should probably want to continue on this path…” Crowley purred out. He was in the tree, leaning back against the trunk, legs propped up on the branch with the hat over his eyes.

“Excuse me- Oh! I didn’t see you- Hello!” He smiled brightly. Crowley tilted his hat back slightly and looked down.

“What are you doing wandering around all alone, hm? You really ought to be getting to where you ought to be going.”

Aziraphale tilted his head and frowned, “Well I  _ ought _ to be home, and I ought to- Oh please I don’t know where this is and where I’m going… Can you please tell me how to get home?”

“Home? Who’s home, yours?” Crowley smirked. He jumped down off the tree and stood tall before him, “I can’t tell you that. I’ve never been there, see. Perhaps the Hatter can help? He seems to have a knack for these things. Homes and… whatever else you may like.”

“What sort of things?” Aziraphale blinked, watching as Crowley prowled around him.

“All things, some things. He knows a lot and yet he doesn’t know anything. He… He’s the hatter. You just keep walking until you can’t walk any further.” Crowley murmured into his ear. He gave a quick nibble to his lobe before his tongue stuck out to lick the shell. Aziraphale whimpered, shivered and quickly stepped away.

“Stop that.”

“Can’t help it, Angel… We’re alone in the middle of the forest, away from everyone… The possibilities are endless…” Aziraphale gave him a look and he stopped, ”Sorry, go on.”

“Thank you.” Aziraphale huffed and continued to walk away from the smiling man… Who was supposed to be channeling the Cheshire Cat but was more like his normal Seductive Serpent.

Aziraphale continued to walk along, taking time to allow Crowley to move ahead to the piece de resistance of their little game. When he finally made it to the next clearing, he found Crowley. He was sitting at the head of a very long table that was covered in all manner of tea pots, tea cups, sugar bowls, creamers, milks, and honey. Not to mention the biscuits, crackers, cakes and pastries that were lining the table as well. Aziraphale swallowed and his gaze stopped at his host. He was supposed to be Alice, and he had found his Hatter.

Crowley had changed his clothing. He wore a dark red suit, reminiscent of what he wore when he rescued Aziraphale at the Bastille. He had a black scarf tied around his neck, silver specks scattered all over it. He was not going to wear something ridiculous doing this like in any of the illustrations or movies. He did have to give in and wear the top hat- can’t be the Hatter without the hat, after all. It was tall, a red ribbon wrapped around the base with the tell-tale card sticking out of it reading ‘In This Size 10/6’. He had let his hair down, and it sat upon his slightly curled red hair. The hat was tilted slightly forward as if he were napping. Crowley had his feet kicked up on the table. His pants were slightly too short and showed striped red and black socks giving way to shining black shoes.

Aziraphale’s breath caught. He really did look dashing. He was such a good sport. Usually.

“Excuse me…?” Aziraphale asked. He stepped closer and started walking down the side of the table where Crowley’s- er, the Hatter’s feet were resting. Aziraphale was met with no answer. He frowned and stepped closer, “Hello? Excuse me?”

“Hmm? Oh you are excused.” Crowley mumbled from under his hat. Aziraphale stopped in his tracks and blinked, confused.

“This is a curious place, indeed…” 

“It is curious if you wish it to be so, unless otherwise then it is not and it is what you say it is, then therefore… We are.” Crowley sniffed, looking up and tilting his hat back, revealing his bright golden eyes. Aziraphale’s breath caught and he blushed softly. Gibberish. Complete… Lovely gibberish. 

“I- I’m sorry what now?” 

“It’s tea time. You have to sit down.” Crowley licked his feet off the table and leaned toward his guest, elbow on the table and chin resting in his hand.

“Which seat should I take?” Aziraphale blinked, looking down the table.

“Oh none of them if you please. Just sit in one, I don’t often give my seats away, we change places so often.” Crowley smiled brightly. Aziraphale felt his heart melt. He sat next to him and shook his head out, sighing.

“I don’t suppose you happen to know how I can get home?”

“What home? Your home? I don’t dabble in real estate, dear. However, my home is right here if you like it.” Crowley winked, drawing a deeper flush from the blonde’s cheeks.

“N- No, thank you. See, I am lost and am looking for a way to get back to my home, in England. Not… here.”

“Why do you want to leave here? You just got here!” Crowley put a tea together, how Aziraphale always took it and handed it over with a soft smile, “You seem like very nice company…”

“A- Aziraphale…”

“Quite a mouthful.”

“You can call me-”

“No this cake is quite a mouthful.” Crowley repeated, taking a cake and taking a bite, handing the rest to Aziraphale, “Bite?”

Aziraphale smiled lovingly, “You’re sweet.” He took a bite and kept his eyes pasted on Crowley’s, a hand leaning forward to his thigh. He wasn’t sure this was going to last... 

“I’ve never tasted myself… I wonder…” Crowley said softly, leaning forward, “Would you… like to taste?”

Aziraphale smacked his hand with the cake away and lunged at him, kissing him hungrily, clamboring into his lap.

“Mm! Angel!” He gasped out, “What-”

“No… no more just…” Aziraphale slithered himself down to his knees and undid Crowley’s trousers, “Give me…”

“Aziraphale I didn’t get- Oh… Oh… Shit.” Crowley’s head fell back, a hand reaching up to grab the top hat as Aziraphale’s hand started its work.

“No… Leave it…” Aziraphale’s cheeks pink, “I… Please?”

Crowley smiled softly and ran a hand through blonde hair, “Of course, Angel… I’ll keep it on the whole time if you want…”

Aziraphale nodded shyly and reached up, stroking Crowley’s cheek.

“Thank you for all this…” He whispered. Crowley smiled and leaned into the touch, kissing the palm of his hand.

“Anything, Angel… Always.”


End file.
